Happy New Year!

As the Christmas tree of life prepares for the dustcart of destiny, I’m taking stock of all the unnecessary treats I’ve consumed over the past week – salted caramel hazelnuts, butter fudge, chocolate mints, chocolate with chilli, Pringles, crisps with dips, mince pies, panettone, Christmas pudding, burfi, samosas, pakoras, Bailey’s, champagne, prosecco, cava, red wine, white wine, elderflower vodka... All things I normally eschew, and certainly shouldn’t be eating when I am still religiously pouring coconut milk on my muesli in order to comply with the rules of my yeast and dairy intolerances. What is it about Christmas that makes us (for I know, and you know, that I am not alone) pig out so unashamedly? I blame boredom – for, you have to admit, Christmas is without exception the most boring time of year... And, this year, I also blame the bad weather – which has been relentless. With little to do but veg out on the sofa, the snacking becomes as inevitable as the panic rush to the gym that will follow later this week. Christmas was, after all, invented in order to get us all to part with more money than we have for more food and drink than we should reasonably consume. And New Year was invented to get us to part with yet more money for gym memberships that most of us will never use beyond January.

If joining a gym is on your list of new year’s resolutions, take my advice and wait until February, as the desire may have worn off by then.

But if you are already a member of a gym – as I am – make sure you use it this week, before the Christmas apathy has had time to take even more of a grip. All those festive treats I have been eating are not only addictive but they seem, in my case at least, to flip a switch in my brain that convinces me that healthy living is not only undesirable but also completely unnecessary.

Because of a fluey cold the week before Christmas, I have already been out of the gym for so long that the prospect of entering the locker room now fills me with as much joy as queuing for the January sales – so I will have to force myself back to yoga and aquarobics, and remind myself that I will love every stretch, splash and lunge... Because I’m worth it!